More of God?

B31A20A1-664D-4D12-86F8-FB7EEDD792E2The year is 66 A.D. or maybe 67 A.D.  and Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ to the Gentiles, finds himself once again arrested by the Roman Empire.  But this time it is much different.  Instead of being under house arrest he finds himself in a dungeon in chains.  To be more specific in Nero’s dungeon.  Not only is Paul there but it is also believed that Peter who walked with Jesus is also there.  At this time Paul is able to write a letter to his fellow brother in Christ, a young man he raised up in the faith of their mutual Lord and Savior. This young man, Timothy, receives a letter which will be known as 2 Timothy to future generations. Yet, for Timothy this is the last correspondence he has from a man he had walked with and knew so very well.  This is the man Timothy had learned from Who Jesus is.  Paul knows his time is short and soon he will be poured out as a drink offering (4:6).  Paul asks Timothy to come to him yet at the same time realizes that Timothy may not get there in time, so his letter also conveys the concerns he has of the times and of the faith which is so dear to him and that he will die for.

If we put ourselves in the times this letter was thought to be written, we might see this as a transitional time for the believers in Christ.  Most of the other disciples have been killed for their belief.  The Roman Empire is controlled by Nero.  Under his rule the believers in Jesus suffered great persecution.  He is known as a cruel leader.  Both Paul and Peter are killed under his rule leaving only John as the  last of the original apostles.  Many believers began to wonder if Jesus would ever return and some were teaching the resurrection had already happened (2:17).  Paul also warns of others in the future who will have a form of godliness but deny it’s power and always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of truth (3:5&7).  He reminded Timothy, “ But you must continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them, and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.” (3:14-15).  Paul also reminds Timothy several times to: “Hold fast the pattern of words which you have heard from me, in faith and love which are in Christ Jesus” (1:13); “…be strong in grace that is in Christ Jesus. And the things you have heard from me among many witnesses, commit these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also” (2:1-2); and “consider what I say and may the Lord give you understanding in all things” (2:7). Paul wanted to ensure the true gospel—-stayed TRUE and that the message being taught would not go back to the old leaven (law).  He reminds Timothy of the importance of faith in Who Jesus is to secure salvation and righteousness and how this truth needed to be passed on to future generations. I believe Paul was passing the baton on to his disciple Timothy before he died.  What brought me to tears though was the realization that the church today has completely perverted Paul’s words and has done exactly what he didn’t want to happen with the gospel of Jesus Christ.  And the really sad part is that they have used his own words to do so.

So many times this book (2:20-26)  has been taught from the perspective of a believers behavior and their need to try to better themselves so they can “get more from God”, or “get to a higher level”.  Christians have lost the Way and forgotten it is Him Who brings us from glory to glory, not us.  And we already have ALL of Him in us, period.  There is no secret way of obedience to “get more Holy Spirit”. The entirety of the Holy Spirit resides in each believer as they Simply Believe.  People that believe there is a way for them to attain more of God by their behavior are simply feasting on the old leaven (1 Cor 5:8). This old leaven causes you to want to hide your mistakes and choices instead of living from the inside out (see: Grace Enables You to…. for more info).  When feasting on the old leaven you fear God and man because you don’t understand that God has already forgiven you because of His Son.  The truth is you are fully forgiven which causes you to not fear because you know, no matter what you have or haven’t done, you are beloved and fully accepted by the Holy Trinity.  

In our humanity we always want or desire to make ourselves righteous. It is just such a source of pride in humanity.  I understand this because for years this is the way I had lived.  This is where God truly wants humility.  It seems so difficult not only for unbelievers but for believers in Jesus to understand this.  We need to acknowledge the facts:

WE CAN NEVER MAKE OURSELVES RIGHTEOUS OR MORE RIGHTEOUS.

WE CAN NEVER MAKE OURSELVES PURE OR MORE PURE.

WE CAN NEVER MAKE OURSELVES HOLY OR MORE HOLY.

WE CAN NEVER GET MORE OF GOD BY OUR BEHAVIOR OR LESS OF GOD BY OUR BEHAVIOR.

According to Paul, we can only freely receive these things from Father God who made the way through His Only Son, Jesus Christ.  It is a FREE GIFT.  I submit to you the containers Paul speaks about In chapter 2:20-26 was to help Timothy realize that there are different vessels in the house of God and to make sure Timothy sees this clearly, understands this and makes sure the true gospel gets passed on to trustworthy people.  Paul talks about these containers in 1 Corinthians also.  In verse 8 of chapter 5 Paul mentions something that we must look at to understand what he was saying to Timothy: 

“Therefore let us keep the feast, not with old leaven, nor with the leaven of malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.”

The old leaven is the law.  The leaven of malice and wickedness is the world and the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth is the New Covenant.

See Paul was warning Timothy that these different containers would all be present in the “Church” and to look for the honorable containers to entrust the message to.  Giving credence to those that taught the truth just as he has done.

When I better understood the history, I could better understand the wording of the letter. I began to see that this letter is not so much about what I have to do to attain more from the Lord; but much more about believing what God, through His Son Jesus, has already done for me.  I believe this letter is just reinforcing to Timothy what Paul has always taught: Jesus Christ, the Passover Lamb has already done it all for us…all we have to do is Simply Believe (Faith).

I encourage you whenever you go to read the Word of God to start at the right starting point…which is:

God Loves me

Jesus died for all of my sins

I am fully forgiven

I am righteous in Jesus

I am a new creation in Jesus

I have a free will choice to choose to believe Who God and Jesus is

The Holy Spirit (all of God) lives in me when I choose to believe

God never leaves me nor forsakes me

If we look at 2 Timothy with these eyes, we can see it is all about faith, grace and understand we can not in and of ourselves make ourselves a clean container but that through focusing on Jesus, through our belief in Who He is and ALL that He has accomplished on the Cross we are the clean or an honorable container. As believers we need to stop trying to put a new garment on an old one…it doesn’t fit-the New Covenant message of Grace is not a patch for the Old Covenant of Law— just put on the whole new garment of Grace given freely and completely to you by Jesus.  Through all scripture—ALL—-you can see the truth of Jesus.

It is time for Jesus,
not man,
to be high and lifted up
and He will draw
all men unto Himself.

So now go and read 2 Timothy with new, fresh eyes and let’s stand and make a change back to the true gospel of Jesus Christ.  We no longer want the old leaven of the law, nor the feast of malice or wickedness (the world).  What we want is the New covenant, unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.  Truth that Jesus took all your sins, it is finished, you are whole (even if you don’t look it or act like it, remember glory to glory) and you are obedient right where you are at.  A good friend said something so profound and I want to share it here.  She said, “I gave 100% of what I had at that time.”  This is how I see believers going from glory to glory now.  I can’t yet give what I don’t understand I have just yet.  But I am fully reliant on the Giver and the Giver knows my heart.

New Wine

The Unforgivable Sin

A while ago, I had prayed for a woman.  She had so much fear because as a little girl she had been told by an adult leader in a church that she had committed the unpardonable sin and would not be able to go to heaven.   What is even sadder though is both of my boys, unsuccessfully, had been taught about the unpardonable sin.  Thankfully this was after sharing my revelation of God’s great grace with both of them.  My youngest got in such a heated discussion with his “Christian studies teacher” that he had to be pulled out of the classroom.  For him he saw a God that would forgive everything and the way this teacher was explaining this scripture, in Mark 3:29-30, did not fit into how he saw and knew God.  So, today I want to bring clarity, hope, freedom and truth to this scripture that has, because of the way it has been taught for many years, hurt so many people.

Let me copy two different translations of this verse below one from the New King James Version (NKJV) and one from the Message.  My favorite is from the Message; yet many times this is taught from the NKJV.

“Assuredly, I say to you, all sins will be forgiven the sons of men, and whatever blasphemies they may utter;  but he who blasphemes against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is subject to eternal condemnation” because they said, “He has an unclean spirit.” (Mark 3:28-30 NKJV)

“Listen to this carefully. I’m warning you. There’s nothing done or said that can’t be forgiven. But if you persist in your slanders against God’s Holy Spirit, you are repudiating the very One who forgives, sawing off the branch on which you’re sitting, severing by your own perversity all connection with the One who forgives.” He gave this warning because they were accusing him of being in league with Evil.” (Mark 3:28-30 MSG)

4B47B2E1-54F7-4733-87E5-EC144318724AWhat is even more interesting is the title in the NKJV which states this section is about THE UNPARDONABLE SIN.  Wow, and it looks just like that…..so this must be what it is about…..and it is….but not what we have been taught for years. (Yes, I said all that with a huge grin…because of the goodness of God).

I have written before about the importance of reading scripture in context, looking at the time period, who wrote it and whom it was written to.  It is just as important here.  At this time Jesus was healing and teaching around Galilee.  There were many people from other areas there with Him.  He had chosen His twelve disciples when all of a sudden scribes are proclaiming Jesus to have the prince of demons, Beelzebub, within Him.  Jesus teaches them in parable regarding how can a house divided against itself stand?  He then goes on to say in Mark 3:28 how ALL of the sins and blasphemes will be forgiven the sons of men.  It isn’t just a few sins but ALL; which means in Greek the totality of.  No sins left unforgiven.  It will all be accomplished, finished.  But then all of a sudden it sounds like Jesus is now retracting what He just said in the next sentences.  But He isn’t.

I looked up each word in the Greek in all three verses.  Specifically verses 28 and 29.  Here is the summation of what I looked up (to do your own research you can view the bible hub pages here: http://biblehub.com/text/mark/3-29.htm and http://biblehub.com/text/mark/3-30.htm):

Whoever refuses to acknowledge the good that has come from the union (remember Jesus is talking about Himself and the healing He has been performing by casting out unclean spirits) of the Holy Spirit, negates possession of forgiveness in this age, is legally bound or obligated eternally (both now and outside time) to sin’s results because they have concluded I possess a spirit which is adulterated(“a wrong mix’/tainted by sin). (Mark 3:29-30)

He is making it clear there is one condition that the son of man (yep, that is you and me)  must make to have ALL your sins forgiven.  The scribes had just concluded that the sinless lamb was full of sin.  So for them, unless they change their minds (yep that is repentance) and realize that Jesus is the Sinless One whom will take on all of the son of men’s sins, they are negating the ONLY way to possess forgiveness from God.

Jesus was already telling how and Who forgiveness would happen through.  How the one condition of faith in Who He is makes all the difference for the sons and daughters of Adam and Eve.  It is simply the same simple message of faith, forgiveness and a Spotless Lamb that must be seen as spotless not just as a “good man”,  a “prophet” or a fake.  He was, is and will be the only real Spotless Lamb, born without sin, remained without sin for our good.

 

Freedom from Condemnation

F974C388-8CDE-491E-BE7B-A0259C1B1DC1After writing my last post, Firm Foundation, I was talking to a close girlfriend about each of the points.  When I had gotten to number two and I said out loud I am completely forgiven, I realized in that moment it had been a really long time since I had felt condemnation.  Now for me, and I believe many in the church, condemnation comes along frequently.  At least it had for me.  It would come in large mountains that were immovable and even though I would take the steps I had been taught for so long by church leaders it simply would not budge.  I would live in a constant state of perpetually feeling like I had to somehow work at getting God to forgive me.  Let me give an example to help explain:  Let’s say I got angry with my kids that day and screamed at them.   I didn’t even use bad language but I still let my anger get the best of me and I screamed at my kids.  I would then feel guilty, I would repent to God saying I was wrong and I did something bad, I would apologize to my kids, I would then spend hours praying while everyone slept again asking God: to forgive me, help my kids to forgive me, wipe away any bad things I may have caused in them because I yelled.  As I would “repent”, which looked more like me taking out a whip and whipping myself, I would hope I could show God how sorrowful I was and maybe God would forgive me.  I would ask Him to help me forgive myself yet the mountain of condemnation would stay.  I would repeat this same idea of repentance again and again sometimes for weeks for the same wrong doing.  I was so focused on what I shouldn’t be doing and not on the fact that God loved me, had already forgiven me and this act would not cause me to go to hell or ruin my children…but I was living in a hell here on earth because condemnation gets very heavy to carry and it caused me to forget who I am and Whose I am.  This very focus on the wrongdoing would cause me to repeat the same scenario over and over again.  I wanted off this hamster wheel, but didn’t know how.   The Holy Spirit though taught me that the way I viewed the word repentance was incorrect which led to condemnation having free reign in my life for years.  The way most church leadership teach repentance is wrong.  The reason I know this is because I not only experienced it but also was one who perpetuated it.  I have written about repentance here: It is Time to Let Go of the Rules-Otherwise Known as the Law, and many other places throughout my blog you can just search repentance if you would like a fuller picture.  See, I believed repentance to mean: I must make sure God knows I am sorry, I must somehow prove to Him I am being truthful about being sorry and I must convince Him to forgive me.  Here is what repentance truly means:

Metanaeo-(Greek)=to think differently after; change of mind; changed after being with.

And how about the word confession in Greek:

Homologeó-(Greek)=to agree or voice the same conclusion.  Simply: put to voice the same conclusion God has.

See these two words together are important.  First when true repentance occurs you see things God’s way and when you confess you are coming into agreement or voicing the same conclusion God has in situations.  Repentance never meant to grovel at God’s feet in hopes He forgives you.  It simply means seeing things God’s way and coming to the same conclusion as He does.  It is a change of heart that He does in His interaction with us through the Holy Spirit inside us.  It is simple…not us doing it but Him doing it in us.  This is why the Holy Spirit came and this is not manufactured or drummed up by ourselves.  I want to make that very clear because when that happens your focus is in the wrong place.

There is no need
to prove we still
need the free gift;
we simply receive
the free gift.

What seems to be forgotten in all of this is the important fact of what God did with the obedience of His Son, Jesus, on the Cross for all of us.  This part seems to be put aside after we are saved.  All of a sudden we, as Christians, are trying to prove we are good enough to still receive His free gift of “It is Finished”.   The Father and the Son have done all the work for us, period.  We are fully forgiven, Holy and righteous because of Their work, not ours. When we have accepted that and continue to accept it, which means we have FAITH in what was accomplished for us, then we no longer feel as though we must be the ones to make ourselves clean, Holy or righteous to be forgiven. We simply already are forgiven.  There is no need to prove we still need the free gift; we simply receive the free gift.

37D3AEA9-1F2C-408D-A61E-AEB04919B024Now, when I have done something wrong, I thank God and His Son for what they paid such a dear price to purchase (my freedom) and I am thankful I have the Holy Spirit within me.   Like a child I simply trust (faith), know that I am forgiven, know that the Holy Spirit is taking me from glory to glory, rest in the fact I am loved in my imperfections, I confess that He is good and with this…condemnation has no place.  It no longer even comes to visit me.  It has simply given up because I no longer rely on my good behavior but His.  And I know that is ENOUGH.  Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, Who saved and continues to save ME.

Firm Foundation

I dislike reading titles that say 5 tricks to losing weight or 3 ways to save your marriage.  So, I purposely chose not to use a title like that.  Plus, this list has to be able to be expanded if needed 😉…I just don’t like to be put in a box 📦.

For the past few days I kept seeing the words, “You Are Loved”.  Around the fourth day of this I said, “Yes Lord, I know I am loved.”  Then I felt led to write.  I have been asking the Lord what are my core values and how much I wanted my core values to line up with His.  I can see these are my bedrock beliefs. A foundation set in Jesus2A602E7A-B080-4697-8A6D-8F26631CFAD4 that can not be destroyed.  It is how I view myself and others; how I live or walk out my life on a daily basis; the lens I see scripture through; it impacts how I pray; and how I see God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.  I felt compelled to share it:

  1. I am Loved.
  2. I am completely forgiven by Him.
  3. God is on my side no matter what my circumstances look like.
  4. The work has been done by the only Begotten Son for me and this is where I find my rest for my soul.
  5. I could never do anything that would cause God to turn away from me-EVER.  I would be the only one capable of turning away from Him; yet He would pursue me passionately until I turn back.

As a daughter or son of the Most High God this is a foundation that is based on truth.  It truly doesn’t get any better than this.  If you don’t have a relationship with the Father just take a peek at this page Salvation Prayer.  It is so simple to just believe in what has already been done for you.  If you have any question please comment or connect with me on my Facebook page.  ❤️

The Worst Disease to Hit Mankind

And what you can do about it…

In His Name

Over the many years of being a “Christian”, I have been “taught” how to “pray”.  I quote those words because I think they have been misused or misunderstood.  At first I was taught by the Holy Spirit; but the longer I was around people who had been in the church longer than me I began to pick up some of their habits. Then it was expected I should pray in a certain way and take classes to learn how to pray.

A vending machine
has no will,
money is put in,
a button is pushed,
and what the person pushing
the button wants comes out

Today though, I want to discuss the practice of what may have become more like a formula many Christians use to put emphasis on their prayers. One of the things the Lord had shown me during those three days almost three years ago, was a vending machine. When He showed me this He spoke,”I am not a vending machine but people have made me into a vending machine“.  See a vending machine has no will, money is put in, a button is pushed, and what the person pushing the button wants comes out. We, as Christians, may have started at a wrong starting point with our view of God. We unknowingly may think God has no will in circumstances of life and yet, His plan comes above everything else. I can only discern what I believe to be God’s will as each circumstance comes to me through this lifetime.  His Holy Spirit inside me tells me and gives me unction to pray instead of praying a prayer as someone (man) desires me to…but wait I am getting ahead of myself.

Let me try to explain. The scripture that I want to use is in Acts 3:16. This is where the apostles are headed to the temple and there is a man who is sitting at the Beautiful Gate begging for money because he has been crippled since birth and the apostles say they do not have money but what they do have….here let’s enter in:

“Kefa said, “I don’t have silver, and I don’t have gold, but what I do have I give to you: in the name of the Messiah, Yeshua of Natzeret, walk!” And taking hold of him by his right hand, Kefa pulled him up. Instantly his feet and ankles became strong; so that he sprang up, stood a moment, and began walking. Then he entered the Temple court with them, walking and leaping and praising God!
‭‭Acts of Emissaries of Yeshua (Act)‬ ‭3:6-8 CJB‬

In His Name…..I have ended many prayers this way.  Many times knowing or sensing what I had just prayed wasn’t what God wanted me to pray.  Yet, the expectation was for me to pray this way because if I didn’t then God wouldn’t be seen as good and/or I IMG_1656would not be praying correctly according to man.  Let me make this very clear: God is good all the time despite the circumstances I am in.  Yet, in the past, I felt I needed to pray a way directed by man rather than God.  For this I have been convinced I was wrong and have gone back to my childlike trust in God and what His will is in each circumstance.  See we apply an attribute to God and then make it a blanket statement not realizing that it might mean something far greater than what we see it as.  Let me use this as an example.  God hates sickness. Yes, God holds no account to sickness.  It is not part of His realm.  But I want you to think of the worst sickness or disease to ever hit mankind.  Maybe it could be the plague, AIDS, cancer or….there are many to choose from.  To me though the worst sickness or disease is actually the original fall.  This is a disease that has attacked every single human being in the world.  Our brokenness is what has brought so much strife, division, hatred, and evil acts perpetrated on other humans and the earth. This sickness/disease we are all born with.  Jesus carried this for us at the Cross.  He made a way to rid humanity of this awful disease.  This sickness that 65893174-28F6-48F3-811B-339FC93F8B10has caused so many sicknesses. And with that He also took the shame of all of us who have performed these acts.  I want the world to see the largeness of what God actually did through His Son on the Cross.  We get caught up in the smaller picture and with that fear creeps in.  What if I die?  Well….we shall all die and as Christians we should not fear this or the second death.  Because truly we live forever.  We should not be like the Goyim (the unbelievers).

So, back to prayer.  Here is the definition of the Greek word for “name” from biblehub.com:

3686 ónoma – name; (figuratively) the manifestation or revelation of someone’s character, i.e. as distinguishing them from all others. Thus “praying in the name of Christ” means to pray as directed (authorized) by Him, bringing revelation that flows out of being in His presence. “Praying in Jesus’ name” therefore is not a “religious formula” just to end prayers (or get what we want)!

[“According to Hebrew notions, a name is inseparable from the person to whom it belongs, i.e. it is something of his essence. Therefore, in the case of the God, it is specially sacred” (Souter).]

Praying “in His Name” means we receive revelation from Him as to what to pray.  It is not simply to tag this on in hopes you are praying what He desires.  It actually means you are praying as directed by the Holy Spirit in that instance. As stated above, Hebrews understand that the name is part of the person….the essence of that person and is inseparable from the person.  A name is very important to Hebrews.  As it should be for all of us.  As believers in Christ, we have His essence known as the Holy Spirit residing within us.  Inside of us we know, otherwise called discernment, what, where and when to pray.  We have the mind of Christ, His essence, in us.  We pray in His Name as we call out His will in this earth realm as it lines up with His larger picture, not yours.  His larger picture, as I have read in scripture, is that the world may know His Name.  He simply does not want one person, human, to be separated from Him.  As we pray, this is the larger picture. In the above historical story of the man being healed at the Beautiful Gate, God’s larger picture evolves.  This isn’t saying God didn’t want this man healed but there was a larger picture. Let’s finish the story here:

Everyone saw him walking and praising God. They recognized him as the same man who had formerly sat begging at the Beautiful Gate of the Temple, and they were utterly amazed and confounded at what had happened to him. While he clung to Kefa and Yochanan, all the people came running in astonishment toward them in Shlomo’s Colonnade. Seeing this, Kefa addressed the people: “Men of Isra’el! Why are you amazed at this? Or why do you stare at us as if we had made this man walk through some power or godliness of our own? The God of Avraham, Yitz’chak and Ya‘akov, the God of our fathers, has glorified his servant Yeshua — the same Yeshua you handed over and disowned before Pilate, even after he had decided to release him. You denied the holy and innocent one, and instead asked for the reprieve of a murderer! You killed the author of life! “But God has raised him from the dead! Of this we are witnesses.” “And it is through putting trust in his name that his name has given strength to this man whom you see and know. Yes, it is the trust that comes through Yeshua which has given him this perfect healing in the presence of you all.” Acts of Emissaries of Yeshua (Act)‬ ‭3:9-16CJB‬

God glorified His Servant Yeshua.  Simply making it known Who He is.  Trust in His essence, His Name.  Trust in Who He is that gave strength and perfect healing to this man in their presence.  We have always focused on the healing but not so much about the people present. Peter was very straightforward telling these Jews the very same man with the name Yeshua, Jesus, this man who You disowned and denied as holy and innocent is the very same One Whose essence in them brought healing to this man whom had been crippled since birth.  This was just what was needed at this point, in these people’s lives to make Him known to them.  Each situation is different because each person is different.  God knows us perfectly and knows what needs to be done in each situation.  We are simply to trust (faith) Him with the outcomes.  Fully knowing the worst disease to ever hit mankind has been abolished by the King of kings on the Cross.  In His Name, ❤️

What Is a Prophet to Do

Silence never solves a problem…

IMG_1592I have never told this story publicly……because I was told not to.  Why am I telling this story now…..because Prophets need to be a little better understood amongst “leadership” within the church-the abuse (to control and manipulate) needs to stop, prophetic words need to be understood within the church, and why you should never agree to not talk about something that has happened to you.

It is Saturday, May 21, 2008 and that morning I received a vision from the Lord of myself on a tiny wooden boat and heard, “And the tiny boat was tossed.”  The sea was dark and rumbling, but I was at peace with light shining down on me.  I felt as though a storm was approaching but I will have peace…..It is now July 26th of the same year and I had received a directive and a word from the Lord that week.  Our church was to begin a building campaign in the next few months and I was praying for this as directed by the pastors.  The Lord told me three things at this time with a great amount of love:

  1. The money will not come in.
  2. The building will be built in 7 years.
  3. I will be the prophet to call it in.

After He told me those three things He requested I proclaim in the earth realm that the money wouldn’t come in.  It took much but after He told me the last two things, I did as He requested.

I was to share with the pastors that the money wouldn’t come in.  I was able to do soIMG_1602 with the female pastor that Saturday night.  I thought it was received well and that they would take it to the Lord.  My husband, Bryan, had gone to a movie and I had driven home with our young sons.  I received a phone call from the female pastor, frantically saying they needed to come over to our house right away.  I told her Bryan was not home; but they still came.  This is when things got ugly and horrible.  First they were asking what they have done wrong, what sin they needed to repent of and I told them there wasn’t anything the Lord had said about that.  I had felt the word had come from a place of love and protection.  But it was like they didn’t hear what I was saying and continued trying to ask me what sin the church had committed.  Then, I was accused of cursing the church and was Jezebel.  I was told I must apologize to the pastoral team and what was then a pastoral prayer team members.  The prayer team members did not even know what I was apologizing for just that I was to apologize.  I was told by the pastoral team that we (the pastoral team, my husband and I) were never to talk about this with anyone.  Later I had found out the pastoral team did not hesitate to talk about it with people and these people also shared some things with other people. So much for promises and keeping it to ourselves.  I was in full fledge fear because 1) I was accused of cursing the church and 2) What if I did have Jezebel inside me?????.

God never intended us to submit
to spiritual leaders who are cruel,
hurtful or can not humble themselves
They are considered untrustworthy

I had many situations that came up during this time that would be termed as spiritual abuse.  Shunning, hurtful words and actions by the pastoral staff, I was actually told they were surprised I showed up for events at the church, my own children were told to pray against me as I was the one “cursing” the church and I choose to stay, I took all the abuse and did what was asked of me; because I doubted God’s word to me and thought I had sinned horribly— so I deserved all of the harsh treatment; because at this point my viewpoint of God was off.  I had learned in the church that they are the “authority over you” and “we are to submit to the authority over us”.  Never realizing what the Greek actually meant in Hebrews 13, more explanation will be in another post. In a nutshell though– I truly believe that God never intended us to submit to spiritual authority that is hurtful, cruel and are unable to humble themselves to say they are sorry.  They fully expect and require people “under them” to apologize for anything they deem needs an apology. People like this are not God’s leadership.

It is now three and a half years later and the money did not come in for the building campaign.  Soon after the pledges were taken the economy nose dived and many people lost houses and jobs.  The people could not make their monetary commitments they had written in August of 2008.  No one on the pastoral team ever said a word about the word being accurate.

I knew the next three and a half years would be different and began praying for the building and the needed money to fund this venture.    Remember I never said a word about the last 2/3 of the word.  I had kept them to myself and my husband at the Lord’s directive.  Sunday, June 1, 2014 the same female pastor met with me in between services because she had to share something with me she had said.  We went into a back room and she had asked me, “Do you remember when you had to give that “hard word” back at (the name of the place we were worshipping at back six years ago).”  I replied yes and she continued, “The Lord God Himself made you give the word because as a prophet, that was the only way to birth through me the prayer necessary to bring the building.”  She never knew that she just confirmed the third promise the Lord gave me.  And the second promise was that the building would be up that seventh year and it is.

I never did receive an apology, we were wrong, or you were right.  Many leaders in the church are afraid of admitting they are wrong or saying sorry because of a crazy misconception that this will somehow lessen their leadership when instead it actually would increase it.  It is wrong to think saying you are sorry in some way will cause them to lose their authority over you.  I have talked a bit about this in Because of Christ, Believers in Him Are Seated in Heavenly Places.  This kind of control is not of God, it is directly trying to control the prophetic gifting in the most hurtful and damaging way.  Most of this occurred because the blind were leading the blind.  I say that as Jesus said it about the Pharisees because like the Pharisees of Jesus’ time this pastoral staff’s viewpoints of God were and are still off.  They do not see God as a loving Father but one that will turn away from you if you sin and you must grovel to have Him even be able to look at you and love you again.  This doesn’t line up with the New Testament Covenant.  I believe so much hurt has occurred in the church because of this incorrect view of God and it is time for this to change.

There has been a large movement saying that prophetic words should only be “good” not “negative” and this is unbalanced thinking.  Mainly because we have defined “good” by man’s way of thinking not God’s.  Prophetic words should bring life, hope, warning and DIRECTION.  Here are the biblical examples that helped me hold it together waiting to see if this “word” would come true and prove I wasn’t crazy, Jezebel, cursing the church etc….

“One of them named Agabus stood up and began to indicate by the Spirit that there would certainly be a great famine all over the world. And this took place in the reign of Claudius.” Acts‬ ‭11:28‬ ‭NASB‬‬

“As we were staying there for some days, a prophet named Agabus came down from Judea. And coming to us, he took Paul’s belt and bound his own feet and hands, and said, “This is what the Holy Spirit says: ‘In this way the Jews at Jerusalem will bind the man who owns this belt and deliver him into the hands of the Gentiles.‘” When we had heard this, we as well as the local residents began begging him not to go up to Jerusalem. Then Paul answered, “What are you doing, weeping and breaking my heart? For I am ready not only to be bound, but even to die at Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus.” And since he would not be persuaded, we fell silent, remarking, “The will of the Lord be done!”” ‭‭Acts‬ ‭21:10-14‬ ‭NASB‬‬

One was a corporate word and the other was a personal word.  Both were warnings that would help give direction to the individual and to the large group of people.  It was to let them know what would surely come; so they could make a plan, to decide, to have wisdom.  This is were I see the church lacking because of the fear of a word that doesn’t fit into their “box of love”….while this surely fits into “God’s box of love”.  It is time for the church to understand God’s love.

Agreeing “never talk about something again”, for the moment, looks good to the offender; yet it is not healthy.  It is unhealthy to not be able to talk, process and walk all the emotions out in a safe place.  When I was told never to talk about this situation it actually made things worse for me, not better.  I needed to process out loud with people that had wisdom and loved me.  What I have realized is that hiding something away doesn’t make it just disappear it makes it fester.  And festering is toxic for our bodies.  Do not agree to never talk about something again…talking is one of the ways God created for us to stay healthy, helpful, loving and bond as human beings.

This very thing that occurred, as one friend pointed out, helped create who I am today.  This very story becomes the tapestry of my life which helps forge what God desires in and through me.  I am sure it would have still happened without this occurring yet I might not have understood so many things such as: the Grace of God, being assured of Whose I am and who I am, not doubting God can truly turn ALL things around for our good, His amazing peace in spite of our circumstances, no longer wanting to please man, confident in the fact He loves me no matter what, my children understand spiritual abuse and can spot it a mile away, they are also confident in their stance with God, and I will never prostitute myself in the prophetic again.

Silence has never solved a problem

I am sure there are many of you with similar stories; actually I know of too many stories already that have occurred with these same pastors over multiple states.  It breaks my heart that anyone would have to go through something like this.  I also know these aren’t the only pastors that lead this way, as they have been taught to lead this way.  If you want to share your story to heal and move forward please feel free to share below or on my Facebook page: Hisbelovedgrace4ever. I have set my comment settings so you can be anonymous when commenting below if you would rather. I am here to pray, read your story and will try to respond to your comments. With love, freedom and His beautiful grace, Darlene

For the rest of my story that got me where I am today you can read Ummmm…Is That An Elephant in the Room?!?!? and People Don’t Like Letting the Elephant Out, Questions Answered

The Kingdom of Heaven is Like…

I had made a meme…A Little of What… .  This had been part of something the Lord had been telling me:  "You are the pearl, be the pearl. You are the treasure, be the treasure. You are the coin, be the coin."  One of the things I would have believed or interpreted from this statement in the past, because my view of God was off, is this:

"Darlene, shape up because you aren't behaving like you are one of My children."

Yet, this isn't what God was saying to me at all.  What He is saying is:

  • You are pure; because My Son made you pure.IMG_1590
  • You are priceless; because you are you created by Me.
  • I will keep running after you; because you are so very beloved by Me.

When you believe you are pure, priceless and beloved by a Father in heaven it changes you.  You can't help but be changed.  Your whole mind shifts from a place of fear to a place faith.  When we start to understand the fullness of what Christ did for us on the Cross: how fully forgiven we are, how beautiful and priceless we are, how greatly loved we are this in and of itself changes our perspective of ourselves and others.  This alone is huge.  Yet then God gives His gift the Holy Spirit, Himself to live within us.  The closest we can get to Him this side of Heaven and that is amazing love.

Whose you are
and
Who you are

It isn't about your or my behavior when He says, "Be the pearl".  It is all about seeing yourself as or believing you are the pearl, treasure and coin. This is called: "faith in what He did for you".  That is the Kingdom of Heaven….be the pearl.

Matthew 13:44-45, Luke 15:8-10

A Little of What…

The Lord has been speaking to me….