What Is a Prophet to Do

Silence never solves a problem…

IMG_1592I have never told this story publicly……because I was told not to.  Why am I telling this story now…..because Prophets need to be a little better understood amongst “leadership” within the church-the abuse (to control and manipulate) needs to stop, prophetic words need to be understood within the church, and why you should never agree to not talk about something that has happened to you.

It is Saturday, May 21, 2008 and that morning I received a vision from the Lord of myself on a tiny wooden boat and heard, “And the tiny boat was tossed.”  The sea was dark and rumbling, but I was at peace with light shining down on me.  I felt as though a storm was approaching but I will have peace…..It is now July 26th of the same year and I had received a directive and a word from the Lord that week.  Our church was to begin a building campaign in the next few months and I was praying for this as directed by the pastors.  The Lord told me three things at this time with a great amount of love:

  1. The money will not come in.
  2. The building will be built in 7 years.
  3. I will be the prophet to call it in.

After He told me those three things He requested I proclaim in the earth realm that the money wouldn’t come in.  It took much but after He told me the last two things, I did as He requested.

I was to share with the pastors that the money wouldn’t come in.  I was able to do soIMG_1602 with the female pastor that Saturday night.  I thought it was received well and that they would take it to the Lord.  My husband, Bryan, had gone to a movie and I had driven home with our young sons.  I received a phone call from the female pastor, frantically saying they needed to come over to our house right away.  I told her Bryan was not home; but they still came.  This is when things got ugly and horrible.  First they were asking what they have done wrong, what sin they needed to repent of and I told them there wasn’t anything the Lord had said about that.  I had felt the word had come from a place of love and protection.  But it was like they didn’t hear what I was saying and continued trying to ask me what sin the church had committed.  Then, I was accused of cursing the church and was Jezebel.  I was told I must apologize to the pastoral team and what was then a pastoral prayer team members.  The prayer team members did not even know what I was apologizing for just that I was to apologize.  I was told by the pastoral team that we (the pastoral team, my husband and I) were never to talk about this with anyone.  Later I had found out the pastoral team did not hesitate to talk about it with people and these people also shared some things with other people. So much for promises and keeping it to ourselves.  I was in full fledge fear because 1) I was accused of cursing the church and 2) What if I did have Jezebel inside me?????.

God never intended us to submit
to spiritual leaders who are cruel,
hurtful or can not humble themselves
They are considered untrustworthy

I had many situations that came up during this time that would be termed as spiritual abuse.  Shunning, hurtful words and actions by the pastoral staff, I was actually told they were surprised I showed up for events at the church, my own children were told to pray against me as I was the one “cursing” the church and I choose to stay, I took all the abuse and did what was asked of me; because I doubted God’s word to me and thought I had sinned horribly— so I deserved all of the harsh treatment; because at this point my viewpoint of God was off.  I had learned in the church that they are the “authority over you” and “we are to submit to the authority over us”.  Never realizing what the Greek actually meant in Hebrews 13, more explanation will be in another post. In a nutshell though– I truly believe that God never intended us to submit to spiritual authority that is hurtful, cruel and are unable to humble themselves to say they are sorry.  They fully expect and require people “under them” to apologize for anything they deem needs an apology. People like this are not God’s leadership.

It is now three and a half years later and the money did not come in for the building campaign.  Soon after the pledges were taken the economy nose dived and many people lost houses and jobs.  The people could not make their monetary commitments they had written in August of 2008.  No one on the pastoral team ever said a word about the word being accurate.

I knew the next three and a half years would be different and began praying for the building and the needed money to fund this venture.    Remember I never said a word about the last 2/3 of the word.  I had kept them to myself and my husband at the Lord’s directive.  Sunday, June 1, 2014 the same female pastor met with me in between services because she had to share something with me she had said.  We went into a back room and she had asked me, “Do you remember when you had to give that “hard word” back at (the name of the place we were worshipping at back six years ago).”  I replied yes and she continued, “The Lord God Himself made you give the word because as a prophet, that was the only way to birth through me the prayer necessary to bring the building.”  She never knew that she just confirmed the third promise the Lord gave me.  And the second promise was that the building would be up that seventh year and it is.

I never did receive an apology, we were wrong, or you were right.  Many leaders in the church are afraid of admitting they are wrong or saying sorry because of a crazy misconception that this will somehow lessen their leadership when instead it actually would increase it.  It is wrong to think saying you are sorry in some way will cause them to lose their authority over you.  I have talked a bit about this in Because of Christ, Believers in Him Are Seated in Heavenly Places.  This kind of control is not of God, it is directly trying to control the prophetic gifting in the most hurtful and damaging way.  Most of this occurred because the blind were leading the blind.  I say that as Jesus said it about the Pharisees because like the Pharisees of Jesus’ time this pastoral staff’s viewpoints of God were and are still off.  They do not see God as a loving Father but one that will turn away from you if you sin and you must grovel to have Him even be able to look at you and love you again.  This doesn’t line up with the New Testament Covenant.  I believe so much hurt has occurred in the church because of this incorrect view of God and it is time for this to change.

There has been a large movement saying that prophetic words should only be “good” not “negative” and this is unbalanced thinking.  Mainly because we have defined “good” by man’s way of thinking not God’s.  Prophetic words should bring life, hope, warning and DIRECTION.  Here are the biblical examples that helped me hold it together waiting to see if this “word” would come true and prove I wasn’t crazy, Jezebel, cursing the church etc….

“One of them named Agabus stood up and began to indicate by the Spirit that there would certainly be a great famine all over the world. And this took place in the reign of Claudius.” Acts‬ ‭11:28‬ ‭NASB‬‬

“As we were staying there for some days, a prophet named Agabus came down from Judea. And coming to us, he took Paul’s belt and bound his own feet and hands, and said, “This is what the Holy Spirit says: ‘In this way the Jews at Jerusalem will bind the man who owns this belt and deliver him into the hands of the Gentiles.‘” When we had heard this, we as well as the local residents began begging him not to go up to Jerusalem. Then Paul answered, “What are you doing, weeping and breaking my heart? For I am ready not only to be bound, but even to die at Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus.” And since he would not be persuaded, we fell silent, remarking, “The will of the Lord be done!”” ‭‭Acts‬ ‭21:10-14‬ ‭NASB‬‬

One was a corporate word and the other was a personal word.  Both were warnings that would help give direction to the individual and to the large group of people.  It was to let them know what would surely come; so they could make a plan, to decide, to have wisdom.  This is were I see the church lacking because of the fear of a word that doesn’t fit into their “box of love”….while this surely fits into “God’s box of love”.  It is time for the church to understand God’s love.

Agreeing “never talk about something again”, for the moment, looks good to the offender; yet it is not healthy.  It is unhealthy to not be able to talk, process and walk all the emotions out in a safe place.  When I was told never to talk about this situation it actually made things worse for me, not better.  I needed to process out loud with people that had wisdom and loved me.  What I have realized is that hiding something away doesn’t make it just disappear it makes it fester.  And festering is toxic for our bodies.  Do not agree to never talk about something again…talking is one of the ways God created for us to stay healthy, helpful, loving and bond as human beings.

This very thing that occurred, as one friend pointed out, helped create who I am today.  This very story becomes the tapestry of my life which helps forge what God desires in and through me.  I am sure it would have still happened without this occurring yet I might not have understood so many things such as: the Grace of God, being assured of Whose I am and who I am, not doubting God can truly turn ALL things around for our good, His amazing peace in spite of our circumstances, no longer wanting to please man, confident in the fact He loves me no matter what, my children understand spiritual abuse and can spot it a mile away, they are also confident in their stance with God, and I will never prostitute myself in the prophetic again.

Silence has never solved a problem

I am sure there are many of you with similar stories; actually I know of too many stories already that have occurred with these same pastors over multiple states.  It breaks my heart that anyone would have to go through something like this.  I also know these aren’t the only pastors that lead this way, as they have been taught to lead this way.  If you want to share your story to heal and move forward please feel free to share below or on my Facebook page: Hisbelovedgrace4ever. I have set my comment settings so you can be anonymous when commenting below if you would rather. I am here to pray, read your story and will try to respond to your comments. With love, freedom and His beautiful grace, Darlene

For the rest of my story that got me where I am today you can read Ummmm…Is That An Elephant in the Room?!?!? and People Don’t Like Letting the Elephant Out, Questions Answered

The Kingdom of Heaven is Like…

I had made a meme…A Little of What… .  This had been part of something the Lord had been telling me:  "You are the pearl, be the pearl. You are the treasure, be the treasure. You are the coin, be the coin."  One of the things I would have believed or interpreted from this statement in the past, because my view of God was off, is this:

"Darlene, shape up because you aren't behaving like you are one of My children."

Yet, this isn't what God was saying to me at all.  What He is saying is:

  • You are pure; because My Son made you pure.IMG_1590
  • You are priceless; because you are you created by Me.
  • I will keep running after you; because you are so very beloved by Me.

When you believe you are pure, priceless and beloved by a Father in heaven it changes you.  You can't help but be changed.  Your whole mind shifts from a place of fear to a place faith.  When we start to understand the fullness of what Christ did for us on the Cross: how fully forgiven we are, how beautiful and priceless we are, how greatly loved we are this in and of itself changes our perspective of ourselves and others.  This alone is huge.  Yet then God gives His gift the Holy Spirit, Himself to live within us.  The closest we can get to Him this side of Heaven and that is amazing love.

Whose you are
and
Who you are

It isn't about your or my behavior when He says, "Be the pearl".  It is all about seeing yourself as or believing you are the pearl, treasure and coin. This is called: "faith in what He did for you".  That is the Kingdom of Heaven….be the pearl.

Matthew 13:44-45, Luke 15:8-10

A Little of What…

The Lord has been speaking to me….

Prophetic: Mirror, Mirror

As I have gone back and looked at some of my journals and the words God has given me I have realized how “off” my interpretation or understanding was of what He was trying to tell me; because I did not see Him clearly back then.

So the other morning this is what God and I were talking about:

In the prophetic it is imperative that we see God correctly.  That our view is clear and we start at the right starting point. As believers, in Christ, we should be able to see God clearly for Who He is and what His Son has completed for us.  When we know who we are and Whose we are the interpretation of the prophetic is on target.  When we start at the wrong starting point, because we don’t know who we are or exactly Whose we are, our interpretation of the prophetic will be skewed or off. 

We need to start off believing, having faith, that Christ has completed all that we never could, on our behalf, putting us in right standing with God for eternity.  And as my mom said forever, or eternity, is a long time. ☺️.  We are made righteous through Christ alone. As we begin at the right starting point with these truths we can begin to interpret what God is saying to us much more clearly.  “For now we see obscurely in a mirror, but then it will be face to face. Now I know partly; then I will know fully, just as God has fully known me.”‭‭ 1 Corinthians 13:12‬ ‭CJB

If you believe you are prophetic, I would encourage you to read through my blogs and begin to undo what you may have been taught in the past of Who God is and begin to soak in Who God truly is and who you are in Him.  As His sons and daughters we are to see Him clearly and you will be much more confident as you know to the depths of your being just how important and beloved you are to Him. ❤️

Gossip?!?!?; For One Day We Will Judge the Universe

Gossip…that word you have probably heard taught in the church; if you have been in the church for any length of time or maybe you have been harshly accused of gossiping. I have actually never heard a sermon on gossip, maybe your experience is different, instead I would be accused of gossiping when it seemed convenient to someone.  So never understanding what gossip is or isn't has had me confused so many times I just stopped talking.  Being called a gossip, for me, is like being called a liar or a cheater and I don't like that.  Plus I didn't want to hurt people.  What I have found though is the word "GOSSIP" is used by many in the church to silence the TRUTH from being told.  This is when, as believers, we begin walking on dangerous ground.

"Truth"…something Pilate himself was looking for.  Something, as believers, we are to walk in, search for and be able to discern. Something I see many in the church not looking for; because they are afraid to be called a GOSSIP.

Today the Lord wants to bring clarity as He shared with me this statement:

Gossip is Slander

Simple, yet I believe so many in the church do not have a grasp on what gossip actually means in scripture in the Greek.  This in turn lends to bad teaching that has led to people unwilling to search out the truth, ask questions, and live a life from the inside out, unafraid.

As believers, we are to walk in the light as Christ walked in the light (1 John 1:7).  This is simply done by faith in Jesus Christ, trusting Him that He was enough of a sacrifice for the whole world. This leads to living from the inside out because we know He did what we could never do for ourselves and He is our righteousness. This trust leads us to lay in a place without fear of condemnation, punishment or separation from our Father in Heaven.  We know Him to be Father not judge.  From this place we can be honest, truthful and sincere because we have no fear of our Father in Heaven turning away from us.  Now, truthfully, have you seen a church like this?  Let alone maybe a IMG_1546person like this?  They are few and far between because the church teaches performance, fear, and condemnation as the way, the truth and the light rather than Jesus as the Way, the Truth and the Light. See the latter is the Good News that Jesus wants told.

Once I realized the love of God, even after I accept His free gift, is not EVER  based upon my performance I am able to live open, honest, and in the light with God and with people. The people part is difficult only because there are so many still afraid to live in the same manner because too many Christians still believe after they accept the free gift there are requirements to stay in "right standing with God". This is the FURTHEST from the truth.

The belief you must perform
to stay in "right standing with God"
is in direct opposition
to the TRUTH of the Good News

In actuality it is the opposite of the TRUTH of the Good News. AND what is even more interesting, this is similar to the meaning of GOSSIP–the opposite of truth regarding a person.  Here let's take a look:
According to the Complete Jewish Bible (CJB) version the word gossip is used five times in the New Testament.  It would be found in the following scriptures (in bold are the meanings of each word in Greek):

  1. “They are filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and vice; stuffed with jealousy, murder, quarrelling, dishonesty and ill-will; they are gossips,”‭‭Romans (Rom)‬ ‭1:29‬ ‭CJB‬‬.  5588-psithuristés: a whisperer; properly, a whisperer; a sneaky gossip (a "back-stabber"); a backbiter, quietly (secretly) destroying another person's character – i.e. covertly, not out in the open, but rather operating "in a corner." See 5587 (psithyrismos).
  2. “For I am afraid of coming and finding you not the way I want you to be, and also of not being found the way you want me to be. I am afraid of finding quarreling and jealousy, anger and rivalry, slander and gossip, arrogance and disorder.” 2 Corinthians (2 Co)‬ ‭12:20‬ ‭CJB‬‬.  5587 psithurismos: a whispering; -properly, a whispering to "quietly" spread malicious gossip; "whispering" that launches "secret attacks on a person's character" (Souter). [5587 (psithyrismós) is "an onomatopoetic word for the sibilant murmur of a snake charmer (Ecc 10:11)" (WP at 2 Cor 12:20).]
  3. Similarly, the wives must be of good character, not gossips, but temperate, faithful in everything.” ‭‭1 Timothy (1 Ti)‬ ‭3:11‬ ‭CJB‬‬.  1228 diabolos: slanderous, accusing falsely; (from 1225 /diabállō, "to slander, accuse, defame") – properly, a slanderer; a false accuser; unjustly criticizing to hurt (malign) and condemn to sever a relationship. [1228 (diábolos) is the root of the English word, "Devil" (see also Webster's Dictionary);  in secular Greek means "backbiter," i.e. an accuser, calumniator (slanderer). 1228 (diábolos) is literally someone who "casts through," i.e. making charges that bring down (destroy). Satan is used by God in this plan – as a predictable wind-up toy, playing out his evil nature.]
  4. “Besides that, they learn to be idle, going around from house to house; and not only idle, but gossips and busybodies, saying things they shouldn’t.” ‭‭1 Timothy (1 Ti)‬ ‭5:13‬ ‭CJB‬‬.  5397 phluaros: babbling; prating, talking foolishly, babbling;  (an adjective, derived from phlyō, "to boil, bubble over") – properly, what bubbles over (like a seething, boiling pot). 5397 (phlýaros) is only used in 1 Tim 5:13.
  5. “So if I come, I will bring up everything he is doing, including his spiteful and groundless gossip about us. And as if that weren’t enough for him, he refuses to recognize the brothers’ authority either; moreover, he stops those who want to do so and tries to drive them out of the congregation!” ‭‭3 Yochanan (3 Jo)‬ ‭1:10‬ ‭CJB.  5396 phluareó: to talk nonsense; : I gossip against, talk idly, make empty charges against, talk nonsense.; (from 5397 /phlýaros, "to bubble up, boil over") – overflowing with speech "that is fluent but empty" (WS, 562). It is used only in 3 Jn 10. See 5397 (phlyaros).

From these definitions I looked up a couple of words: calumniate and Prating.  I am a stickler when defining a word not to use the word in the definition because it doesn't illuminate the word at all.  So here is the definition to both words from dictionary.com:

CULUMNY: noun, plural calumnies.
1.a false and malicious statement designed to injure the reputation of someone or something:
The speech was considered a calumny of the administration.
2.the act of uttering calumnies; slander; defamation.

PRATING: intransitive verb 1:to talk long and idly

As you read through the definitions a few things becomes clear.  First, there is a huge difference between how we define gossip today and the five Greek words used within the scriptures above.  It is quite clear from above the Bible is defining someone who knowingly, maliciously and on purpose decides to malign, lie, and make empty charges against someone both openly and quietly; their whispering launches secret attacks to destroy another person's character; they choose to hurt, and destroy and to condemn a person's character; and they desire to sever a relationship by doing all of this. As you can see from above, this is a tactic of the enemy; hence the Greek word "diablos".  The Greek word above translated as "Gossip" is someone who is a false accuser or an empty accuser (full of air just bubbling over) that does not want to bring unity but disunity, not life but death and not healing but destruction.  Let's look at the original meaning of the word "gossip" in English from Merriam-Webster dictionary:

History for GOSSIP:

At first the word gossip, from Old English godsibb, meant “godparent.” Later it came to mean “close friend” as well. Close friends, of course, share secrets. Gossip has come to mean anyone, friend or not, who shares the secrets of others.

The word GOSSIP is NOT
found once in the KJV

So, interestingly enough, if you look up the word "GOSSIP" in the King James Version (Old English) you will not find one scripture with the word "gossip".  There are zero results.  We need to understand the meaning of the original Greek words translated as "gossip" if we are to judge the universe (1 Corinthians 6:2) and understand what was truly being talked about in the five scriptures referenced above.  In the first letter to the believers in Corinth Paul is referencing a problem that came up between two believers and one took the other to court and he is asking,

"Don’t you know that God’s people are going to judge the universe? If you are going to judge the universe, are you incompetent to judge these minor matters?"….Can it be that there isn’t one person among you wise enough to be able to settle a dispute between brothers?"(1 Corinthians 6:2-5).

One of the many things we need to understand, as believers, is that we have the Holy Spirit within us and we should be able to discern the truth from a lie.  But we must hear both sides of the story to be able to do so and then wait upon Holy Spirit to help us.  Is one side gossip??? The real meaning of gossip???  Is it a fabrication to bring down an individual, and why would this individual need to be brought down?  Is there something the enemy is trying to hide?  Paul and the apostles ran into this time and again as they brought the Good News and the enemy did not want the Good News to be believed.  So people would rise up and gossip (the real meaning) about the apostles in hopes the apostles would not be listened to.

As believers, we also must understand we need to be open, honest and truthful with what we experience.  We should be able to talk about circumstances that are unhealthy and tell our side of the story without the fear of being called a "gossip".  For far too long the church has covered up great harms done to others by calling the truth GOSSIP and that is an unhealthy trait.  For it covers actions in darkness instead of bringing things to light to be dealt with in a loving, healthy way (Matthew 18).  I believe this truly happens because we are too busy trying to perform holiness, as we think we should, instead of simply knowing we are holy because of what Christ did for us on the Cross.

No longer be afraid to speak the truth when asked, search out the truth when something doesn't sit right with you and judge the matters before you.  For one day we shall judge the universe.

The Joy of the Lord Is My Strength

This is just such a beautiful revelation from the Word of God…

I was talking with someone I know over Messenger and as I have many times in the past said or reminded myself the joy of the Lord is my strength from Nehemiah 8:10 she was asking for prayer to have the joy of the Lord amongst other things.  Here is what I wrote regarding the joy of the Lord.

“….and the joy of the Lord was to get up on the Cross for us and He is your strength in you through His Holy Spirit (literally I just now understood this, wow that is good Lord).”

Let’s look at the scripture the Holy Spirit brought to my remembrance and help you see what I saw and then dig into the Hebrew and Greek.  This is so absolutely beautiful I can’t wait to share more.

“fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews‬ ‭12:2‬ ‭NASB‬‬

“Then he said to them, “Go, eat of the fat, drink of the sweet, and send portions to him who has nothing prepared; for this day is holy to our Lord. Do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”” ‭‭Nehemiah‬ ‭8:10‬ ‭NASB‬‬

“Splendor and majesty are before Him, Strength and joy are in His place.”                        ‭‭1 Chronicles‬ ‭16:27‬ ‭NASB‬‬

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,” Galatians‬ ‭5:22‬ ‭NASB‬‬

The word joy in Hebrew is chedvah which literally mean joy.  It is found twice in the Old Testament which you see above. Please note that strength and joy are in His place. In Nehemiah chapter 8 we find the people realizing there is a holy day called the festival of the booths which signifies God with them among other things.  Remember “in His place” a representation of being with God in His place.

The word in Greek for joy in the above two New Testament scriptures is xará (chara) and the short definition is joy, delight, a source of joy. Yet the fuller meaning is:

Cognate: 5479 xará (another feminine noun from the root xar-, “extend favor, lean towards, be favorably disposed”) – properly, the awareness (of God’s) grace, favor; joy (“grace recognized”).

[The etymological link between 5463 /xaírō (“rejoice because of grace”), 5479 /xará (“joy because of grace”) and 5485 /xáris (“grace”) – i.e. that they are all cognates – is observed by LS (p 1,976), Zod (Dict), CBL, Wigram’s Englishman’s Greek Concordance (Ed. Ralph Winters), Word Study Greek-English NT (Tyndale, Ed. Paul McReynolds) – see also DNTT (2,356) and TDNT (9; 359,60). http://www.biblehub.com

Let’s put this all together now.  We take the above scripture from Hebrews and first we realize who the letter was penned to. It was Jewish believers in the Messiah. Second, we look at the wording (If you would like to see full wording click here for biblehub site: http://biblehub.com/text/hebrews/12-2.htm: )

Jesus who in view of the joy because of grace “lying before” (Definition: I am set (placed, put) before, am already there.) before Him endured the cross.

Jesus who in view of the knowledge of grace that was set, placed, is already there img_1290endured the cross for the whole world so that the whole world could freely live in His joy and strength because we have joy because of grace that we freely receive from Him when we acknowledge Who He is in our life, endured the cross.  Just like the booths in the Old Testament but so much better because it isn’t a representation of God with us…it is literally God in us.  When we realize the fact of God is in us you realize you have strength and joy because of grace. Because the Triune God lives in us and through us, all the time as believers in Jesus Christ. Every time I think about how much God loved us and desired so greatly to live in us that He would send His Son and His Son would pay our price all to be able to come live in us. Wow, amazing joy because of grace!

The Struggle Is Real 

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.”‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭6:12‬ ‭NASB‬‬

How many times have you used this scripture to remind yourself of what is truly going on behind the scenes?  I have used it many times; yet I don’t think I truly had a definite core value regarding it.  Remember I have talked about core values, how they line up with your actions and how your actions don’t always line up with your words; you can read more in these articles: Simon of Cyrene and Core values and Grace. I believe we have all had AHA! moments with God.  This is when we see God clearer and where true repentance happens in that moment; when we see things the way God sees them.

I had started this blog stating I would share openly what is happening with me, an open life journal.  There are times this is fun and at times it isn’t. Yet, I choose to live from the inside out in honesty.  Why a public forum???….maybe it will help someone else.

I had been talking to my husband, Bryan, over a month ago.  There had been a situation that had happened and I was angry at the injustice in it and the history that I have seen and heard about regarding these same people.  I looked  at Bryan and I said, “I hate them, no don’t look at me like that, I hate them!”  Now my husband and I have been married for nineteen years and thankfully he knows when to let me just say what is in my heart and let the Lord deal with me, haha!!  I went on, “My mom told me not to say I hate someone, I can say I dislike them but not hate. But Bryan, I hate them.” Later as scripture flooded my heart like: hate in the heart is just like murder and you aren’t walking in the light because you hate it would have been easy to be overcome by self hatred and failure like I had in the past.  But see I know the trick of the enemy, he loves to use scripture to always tell me I can’t measure up.  So, I agree with him in the truth that I can’t live up to the law, ever.  But I know Someone who has….and that is Jesus!!  In that moment I am so thankful, grateful for all that Jesus did for me and the whole world and in that thankfulness something always happens for me but first I had to be open and honest with what was going on inside of me.  If we start at the wrong starting point with God and see Him as a judge of our actions and not realizing all of God’s wraith has been taken on His own Son then we are fearful and can’t approach God with what is going on inside….and we begin to pretend that all is well (saying no, no I am in control of my emotions I don’t feel that way) and all we are doing is painting the outside as good and not dealing with the inside and we know God is more interested with our inside.  We must acknowledge the truth of what is going on inside of us.  Jesus took the law all the way to our hearts, trying to show us we can not ever perform this, but He could fulfill the law for us.

So, what do I do with this???  This very real feeling of hate in my heart?? These were real things that someone has done, is doing and may continue to do until God gets ahold of them.  I think it was about a week later when God spoke to my heart and this is what He said:

Darlene, you don’t hate the person you hate their actions. It is the action not the person you hate. This is what it means when Paul was explaining to the Ephesians that the fight is not against flesh and blood but the powers and principalities of darkness.  It is okay to hate wicked “acts” but you really don’t hate the person because the person has been made in My image and you walk in Me, in the Light, it isn’t who you are.  What you are railing against are the powers and principalities of darkness.

Here are some scriptures that go along with what He told me:

“”The fear of the LORD is to hate evil; Pride and arrogance and the evil way And the perverted mouth, I hate.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭8:13‬ ‭NASB‬‬

“Hate evil, you who love the LORD, Who preserves the souls of His godly ones; He delivers them from the hand of the wicked.” Psalms‬ ‭97:10‬ ‭NASB‬‬

Now I was able to see things more clearly, literally dividing the person from their actions.  Look, I fully understand that I am not perfect because I know the Perfect one climbed on the Cross willingly for me and the whole world.  People choose to do evil things to one another but that doesn’t define who they are. Jesus defines who they are, they are still created in God’s image.  Does this mean that these actions are okay…no……and I wrote more about this in: Horizontal and Vertical (Part 4) and Has “Sorry” Lost Its’ Potency (Final Part)

Just because I have forgiven the person for their behavior does not mean that I need to trust them, or be around them.  Nor does this mean I should not look at and judge the actions they have made.  Note I said judge their actions; I didn’t say judge the person.  Lastly, remember forgiveness doesn’t come overnight, it is a process of healing with God and friends. You can read more here: We Stand In the New Covenant.

img_1280Now, I feel like I have written on my heart:  “Stand firm therefore, HAVING GIRDED YOUR LOINS WITH TRUTH, and HAVING PUT ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, and having shod YOUR FEET WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE; in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.  This is simply Jesus in His fullness….I in Him and Him in me.  I do not have to make an effort within myself not to do something….because literally Jesus has changed me from the inside out.  This is where I have the privilege to walk everyday, because of Jesus.