How I see this as the beginning and how God sees the beginning are two different viewpoints…but I will start where I see the beginning; otherwise this would become a book not a blog, lol!!
It started for me when I stood in the shadow of the Colosseum in Rome, Italy. I have tried to describe the sensation I had while standing in a place in the time period I live in but also knowing the history of this place. I knew Paul may have walked in the same streets I was walking on and so many early Christians had definitely walked. As I stood there I fully realized: We all have our storms we must weather. Since then the story of Jesus in the boat with the disciples has been in my mind. Along with a book I had read by Ted Dekker two years ago. While pondering the scripture with Jesus in the boat there was a story from my past that also kept coming forward. Let’s start with the story: I was in high school and although I had done nothing that would even hint towards what would be whispered about me it didn’t stop the rumor that I was pregnant from going around the school. I went home devastated and my mother told me that the truth would come out. Which of course was an easy one since in nine months there was no pregnancy or baby. I think for most of us our name being dragged in the mud or lies/rumors being told can be devastating. It can ruin people’s livelihoods and yet…God wanted to show me something.
Two years ago when my name began to be drug through the mud I wanted to, just like I wanted in high school, find out where it started at and confront the person or persons. I was angry and wronged. I think it is difficult for anyone to sit back and listen to what is being said about you that is not true. For me it has been a desire to clear my name and in doing that clear others too. There is this piece inside of me that desires the truth and God made me that way and it is good. Yet again, I knew God wanted to show me something deeper.
A few days ago I woke up feeling so much peace. I didn’t ask for it, I didn’t pray for hours, I didn’t do anything. God hears our hearts’ prayers because I had this peace but didn’t understand why I felt such peace. A couple of days later, still in peace, I woke up and I distinctly heard the Lord say to me:
“It is time to let go of the need to clear your name. Trust Me.”
With this statement I knew that is exactly what He had done for me…taken away my need to clear my name and gave me peace. I felt safe. This came from the innermost place within me, my heart.
Please remember: I didn’t do this for myself or go through any particular steps, God simply did it for me, in His time and exactly when I needed it. And He will do the same for you, because He loves you and desires the best for you. (Luke 11:13)
After He stated this, He again reminded me of when He was in the boat with His disciples and the book I had read two years ago: 30 A.D. by Ted Dekker. In this book I had highlighted some things when I had read it and I felt driven to go look. Here I want to share a few quotes from the book:
“And why does man get angry? Because he feels threatened or wronged. And why does he feel threatened? Because he does not feel safe.”
“No threat in a rumor.”
“Nothing in this world threatens you.”
and lastly: “Release the fear your understanding shows you in the storm…..By trusting Me instead, not the storm and not the boat.”
See the disciples were of little faith or maybe better understood as little trust when they feared the storm and feared for their safety. What was of greatest importance was the fact that Jesus was in their boat. This is when I understood that the boat was the perfect example of our heart. What I was beginning to understand is nothing in this world threatens us, as Believers (faith in, trust in) in Christ. This is how I knew Christians could walk into the Colosseum and face such horrible things. They lived from a particular place that I wanted to understand and God was helping me to understand.
Let me dig a little deeper and hopefully put a picture to this. In the Old Testament the Glory of the Lord was in the temple and now He lives in us, in our heart. This fact led me to study the word: heart, among many others. Today though all I want to discuss is the word heart in scripture to bring the fullness out of what Christ did on the Cross and what He is doing inside of us!!! Here the scripture from Romans 6:17:
“But thanks be to God that though you were slaves of sin, you became obedient from the heart to that form of teaching to which you were committed, and having been freed from sin, you became slaves of righteousness.” NASB
Let’s look at the word heart in Greek, which will give us the fullness of what is being talked about
Original Word: καρδία, ας, ἡ
Part of Speech: Noun, Feminine
Phonetic Spelling: (kar-dee’-ah)
Short Definition: the heart, inner life, intention
Definition: lit: the heart; mind, character, inner self, will, intention, center.
2588 kardía – heart; “the affective center of our being” and the capacity of moral preference (volitional desire, choice; see P. Hughs, 2 Cor, 354); “desire-producer that makes us tick” (G. Archer), i.e our “desire-decisions” that establish who we really are. [Heart (2588 /kardía) is mentioned over 800 times in Scripture, but never referring to the literal physical pump that drives the blood. That is, “heart” is only used figuratively (both in the OT and NT.] universally, καρδία denotes the seat and center of all physical and spiritual life.
Let’s look at the scripture in Ephesians 3:17, where it states exactly where Christ comes to dwell:
“so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lordʼs holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,” NASB
The heart is the center of our being when used in scripture. It not only contains the physical part but the spiritual part of us. When we have declared with our mouth Jesus is Lord and believed (trusted, faith) in our heart that God raised Him from the dead you will be saved (Romans 10:9). In this the Holy Spirit resides in your heart, the center of your whole being. Kingdom of heaven resides now within the center of your being. Kingdom meaning rule of God in your heart- both physically and spiritually. Heaven meaning we truly are seated in heavenly places with Christ (Ephesians 2:6). This is the kingdom of heaven in us and through us.
As I saw this from a much newer perspective, I understood more of what God did in me, for me and my trust in Him deepened. I saw God more clearly, exactly what I have asked for…to see Him as clear as He sees me. This is a lifelong, eternal relationship. I did not do this myself, I didn’t in and of myself heal myself…no….. I simply live from the fact that Christ lives in me, God has reign over my heart and He means good for me even in the midst of the storm, there is a peace that comes only from Him-it is always there, trust not in your boat (whatever that may be) nor fear what the storm can do to you.
This truth was born out of the fact in trusting (believing) God that I am safe in Jesus, always…no matter what things may look like.
This is something we constantly need to be reminded of, this is why the Body of Christ is so important for one another. The reminder of exactly where you are living from- a heart, your whole being: physical and spiritual where God dwells and has brought His kingdom into.
Letting go of my boat (my name being cleared) didn’t make what was done to me right, it also doesn’t mean I don’t speak truth when called or needed. What it means is that it is no longer my “end result”, I don’t ever have to see it happen. If it does great, if it doesn’t I will be okay because:
I trust God and His larger plan.
Amazing Grace, Amazing Peace ❤️