Church, Grace, Healthy Faith

People Don’t Like Letting the Elephant Out, Questions Answered

  There have been a couple questions that I was asked personally about my last blog post. I would like to address them in a larger audience. First though I would like to thank all of the people who private messaged me their similar stories. If you have had a similar story and would like to share it with me I would love to hear it. You can share here without it going public, as all comments go through me first and if you don’t want it made public please say so and  I will respect your wishes. Also, you can connect with me via Facebook Messenger. Okay, now onto the questions…the first question is: 

When you put the comment on Facebook,that you later took down, why didn’t you preface what you said with “this is what is happening in so many churches, but praise God it’s not the case in my church”?

  1. I do not play the “shoulda, coulda, woulda game” it is from the pit of hell. 
  2. I do make amends with people when I have personally hurt them, but…
  3. I have learned I needed to stop apologizing for “words from the Lord” that people did not like for their own reasons.
  4. What I also learned is to never add or take away from exactly what the Lord told me to say.
  5. Last but not least, I referenced myself in the statement I posted and I was in that church…that’s probably why God didn’t say to preface that it wasn’t in my church. 

The other question that I felt needs to be addressed, maybe it wasn’t a question more a statement, is the anger and outrage for telling my honest side of the story. The statements I have seen have been: how could a Christian come out and say such things, we should all just love, where is the love in this, Christians should stop talking so badly about others, etc. Pretty much I take this as sit down and be quiet. I have been pounded over the head with scripture to just love and be in unity. We need to look at all of scripture and Paul gives us very good advice on how to handle conflict resolution with people-for further understanding you can read Has Sorry Lost Its’ Potency?. I find it interesting, thus far, and it begs to be asked: Where was ALL THE LOVE and where were ALL THE SCRIPTURES when these lies were being said about my family and friends publicly???? Hmmmmmm…I never heard any outrage made about us. As a matter of fact, we were silent for a year waiting for resolution while the character assassination continued. So, I want to leave the Body of Christ with this statement about why a Christian like me would even tell my side of the story. This was written in a comment by Joel Prinz publicly on Facebook to answer this very question: 

This isn’t the story of King David, if it was then our “oppressor” would be left for dead by God and killed by the Philistines lol. God doesn’t work like that anymore and I would never wish such things on anyone. His grace now covers all sin, but if you sow deceit and destruction, then naturally it will come back to get you, you will reap it. That’s what this story is about, if you only knew the number of people hurt by them it would put (it) in perspective for you. You shouldn’t be allowed to get away with what they’ve gotten away with, American church culture is backwards, pastors shouldn’t be able to just run around and mess with people’s lives without it being brought to the light. As the biblical steps for conflict resolution go, step 1: Go to the person you have a conflict with, if they don’t listen enter step 2, bring a witness, still they don’t listen? Step 3, bring it before the church. Step 3 is in effect now. That is all. Pastors are not above correction, but the American church acts like they are. All steps have been attempted in that order. *drops mic*

I am not afraid of questions. I stand by what I wrote in my last blog post, Ummmmm….Is That an Elephant in the Room?, as an honest account of what happened to me, my family and friends (remember this is still not even close to all that occurred). If you or anyone you know has had a similar experience or may be in a spiritual abuse situation at the bottom of the same post I just linked are signs that Judy Friederich outlines. She is open to anyone contacting her via Facebook Messenger for help or questions regarding your circumstances. She is a trusted counselor with years of helping people in similar experiences. 

7 thoughts on “People Don’t Like Letting the Elephant Out, Questions Answered”

  1. Hi Darlene – Thank you for sharing on such a public forum. This very brave of you. I can feel the pain you and your family have experienced and continue to experience as you heal. I know it is very difficult as a Christian to stand up and speak the truth and say in a loud voice “NO MORE.” It is pounded into our heads to turn the other cheek and give the cloak off our back. But even Christ did not look the other way when he saw the profiteers at the temple. You know wrong when you see it and not addressing it will just leads to more hurting. I know Christianity is not quantitative (there are no good, better or best Christians), but I truly admire your faith and look up to you as “role model.” Please don’t read too much into that….Presbyterians are very laid back. Keep up the faith, blogging and holding your head up high. Kim.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Darlene, thank you again from carrying the mantle of The Lord.
    If the Lord can use dirt as a tool to help the blind to see, He sure can use elephant dung to do the same!!! The elephants have been locked in rooms for years, and there is a lot of dung. It is a BIG MESS and will take time to clean up. But the first step has been accomplished; getting the elephants out of the room! Here is our response to your latest blog! Please use as you see fit!

    1. “how could a Christian come out and say such things, we should all just love, where is the love in this, Christians should stop talking so badly about others, etc……… Jesus is the greatest, and only SINLESS Man known to mankind – and here is how He answered and responds to this question?
    So, since we are not supposed to align ourselves with people, but with Truth – what do YOU say? Jesus did not treat this lightly or gently, and He did not mince words! The confronted it head on! These people have had 30+ years to change things and get it right!
    2. Where was ALL THE LOVE and where were ALL THE SCRIPTURES when these lies were being said about my family and friends publicly???? …….my family’s experience with them was this: There was no love, just mean spirited leaders who lies to us and lied about us, even after we left. They shunned us, and encouraged others to do the same! This was 10 years ago for our family and it is shocking and heartbreaking for sure to know that they have not changed. THEY are the ONE (1) common denominator is all of these stories of spiritual & relational abuse, going back decades, at every place they have “ministered.”
    This is what Jesus said about False Teachers and how it/they should be handled. Again, since we are not supposed to align ourselves with people, but with Truth – what do YOU say?
    Jesus also said in Galatians 4 “16 Have I now become your enemy because I am telling you the truth?
    17 Those false teachers are so eager to win your favor, but their intentions are not good. They are trying to shut you off from me so that you will pay attention only to them. 18 If someone is eager to do good things for you, that’s all right; but let them do it all the time, not just when I’m with you.”
    Jesus always told the Truth, and the religious people, (not those who did not know God, as you might have expected) hated Him for it, and crucified Him for it! He showed no love, mercy or patience for the Pharisaical religious people who misrepresented and manipulated His message. It is no different today. Jesus is still calling out and exposing false teaching and teachers; those wolves in sheep’s clothing who are attacking and destroying His flock.
    This is the Word of God and how we are to respond to such behavior:
    So, once again I ask YOU, since we are not supposed to align ourselves with people, but with Truth – what do YOU say?

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.